I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no control. Go out of the room; return to the nursery, was her mandate. The sleepers were all aroused: ejaculations, terrified murmurs sounded in every room; door after door unclosed; one looked out and another looked out; the gallery filled. I seemed to penetrate very near a Mighty Spirit; and my soul rushed out in gratitude at His feet. My powers were in play and in force. If a breath of air stirred, it made no sound here; for there was not a holly, not an evergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as still as the white, worn stones which causewayed the middle of the path. I am sure she is something not right! You are sure that she has not sent it yet?
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It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. Helen regarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation, though I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.
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